Fat and Kinky in Europe A rant.

When backpacking through Europe in 2017 I was so excited to get to the German Fetish ball and market. finally a place I could interact with an international fetish community! I had literally scheduled my trip around it. Now I only had a backpack with me for my whole 4 month trip so space was a commodity. Meaning no space for my fetish wear sadly. Being a problem solver I planned on buying something to wear while in Berlin before the event or at the market its self. Never thinking it would be a problem because apparently I'm some kind of fetish optimist. Now I have never been shy about my size, I've accepted I'm a thick bitch and I do my best to wear clothes that make me happy. Being a home grown American I always found my plus size corner in stores, rarely do the plus size actually have the same cute clothes but that's another story.

I spent an entire day before the festival going shopping. Visiting around 5 different fetish stores in the city.

Just a side note, the Berlin tram stations suck. Its like if a spider had a really bad acid trip and just threw its web down thinking it's arachnid Jackson Pollock. Not good for a tram newbie.

With the only success being a latex bralet from Blackstyle, one being at least one size too small but fuck it stretches and I'm desperate. Let me be clear I am an american size 18/20 (2X) and there are absolutely no clothes for me in the German sex scene. Later finding that, that rule follows for 90% of the EU.

A bit defeated I decided to go to the Fetish Ball Market hoping to find more niche shops. Wearing a bra under a bralet and some black shorts I wore on the regular. Looking like a slutty lumberjack on Halloween. One store said they had my size however the jacket said 6X and it still did not close properly. I cannot describe the level of frustration and even humiliation I felt experiencing that. I'm the one who likes to humiliate not be humiliated damn it!

I understand that brick and mortar stores are producing sizes based on some statistical history of sales and I would too that is a smart way to do business. I am not mad at these stores. What I am frustrated with is the German Fetish ball. Being in the fetish community one thing always rings true which is inclusion. Inclusion of people of all legal ages, sexes, races, genders, fetishes and sizes. Imagine if the Fetish market didn't have any booths selling bondage gear? I feel like a lot of bondage enthusiasts would feel ostracized from the so called open fetish event. They should have expanded the stores to include at least one plus size specialty shop. The amount of business they would have had would have been amazing, because I was not the only plus size person at this event mind you. What I am not saying is that the Fetish ball in Berlin is purposefully forgetting plus sizes. However there I was by myself with a basic bitch normie outfit next to these latex and leather gods, I was not happy. Clothes are a sense of who you are and a representation of what you like especially in these kinds of events. I had such a terrible time at the event I didn't even go to the rest of the fetish Ball events and I bought a VIP pass. What I am saying is that perhaps have a more open mind to the people who are attending your events. And suggesting to have an open mind to a fetish event... is a strange concept.

Written by: Lani Bleu