Is your ass porn star clean?

My backpack sex pack

The basic knowledge of cleaning the ass is as follows; water goes in the butt and it and other stuff should come out the butt. However it seems to always end with the "now you're prepped, so have fun!". I never got the full story which always worried me a bit. Because of that I've become a little hesitant when it comes butt hole pleasures. One day while thumbing through IG I see a post by Oh Joy Sex Toy!. I've been following them for a while, which you should too, they're great in my opinion. When I came across a post by Matt Nolan about Anal Sex Preparation. I immediately wanted to try it out. I knew the basics and have done cleaning in the past but I never felt "porn ready" you know? I decided that I was going to take this tutorial seriously and do my best to get a "porn ready" ass.

From the beginning to end of this anal adventure this comic gives you a full picture. Details about diet and feelings and warning signs which a paranoid person, like me, can apericate. so with my trusted glow-the-dark enema, IKEA bathrobe, and my favorite podcast I followed the tutorial to see if it I could truly find a difference between a proper clean out or a lazy 30 mins before the date douche.

- The Diet: If this comic tutorial and any episode of the YouTube Series "Ask a Porn star" is anything to go by the diet the night before any anal play can make or break it for your hole. You should have a smaller dinner and stop eating around 8-9 pm...Being the garbage person I am this was challenging. I enjoy snacks after my usually late dinner that I am forced to have because Europe customs enjoy making me suffer.

-The next morning comes around, hungry and cranky I decide early on to line in my robe for comfort. I lazily wait around for the bowel movement to arrive after the obligatory morning coffee. It came and went without incident. whoo I guess?

I don't know if this was just me being worried but I was so aware of what was happening with my body. I was over analyzing everything just because I wanted to make sure it was good enough to start cleaning. Was it the right size, shape, color? I than got lost googling poo health. Turns out on this day I was a healthy poop-er so don't worry everyone!

Want to know about your poo? Chick Here

I'm ready with the next step, I grab my rather cheap but handy palm enema and some Fun Factory silicone lube. I start to fill up the enema with warm water and go to the upside down turtle position as the comic describes and attempt to fill. Two things happened in succession. One I couldn't hold the position for long due to my belly. To combat this issue and to comfortably insert the tip I kept one leg bent on the ground and held the other leg in the air with an arm wrapped around the knee.

* Before I inserted the tip I lubed up a finger and massaged my hole a bit for easier insertion.*

with the tip in the next issue appeared. The water was too warm. Like way too warm like I "calmly" moved to the tub to let out the lava too warm. Now I do not blame Oh Joy Sex Toy for this issue. This is me being too anal ,ha, for a clean booty and not thinking things through.

*Before inserting lava into your system please check the temperature of the water with the back of your hand to make sure you're not about to have a 5 alarm booty problem.*

This is your butt with lava water.

With new, less warm, water starting the cleaning process I rocked back and forth on a towel listening to a Podcast on landmines. I clenched and clenched waiting for the need to expel the water. It took a lot longer than I expected. Usually it takes like 3-6 ish minuets as said in the comic tutorial, butt for me for whatever reason I had to wait like 10ish minuets. Nothing really wrong but my anxiety growing

This next part of the douching process was standard. The whole let it out thing. I did it a total of 4 times with less and less water each time. the whole process was around an hour and a half long. I enjoyed a nice snack of hummus during. Trying to convince my self this was fun. "Oh yes so lovely like being on a beach vacation... pure relaxation."

The process of douching is boring and a little dirty. Hopefully a clean ass hole to play with is worth the process for you. You know if you're into butt stuff

I now had a pristine glorious shining hole. when I spread my cheeks angels would sing. with my S/O at work I was left to my own devices to try this clean hole out. Using a counter weighted Fun Factory 2 beaded plug anally and rechargeable Nalone wand on my clit I enjoyed a self session that can only be described as a marathon. (Edging for the win!) I made sure to take it slow on Oh Joy Sex Toy's mention of extreme sensations after a quick orgasm. I've seen it first hand. You get moans of pleasure one second to OMG GET OUT GET OUT real fast.

*Listen to the body and your pleasure will go far.*

look how happy I look, just look at that smile.

After hours, yes hours, I was thoroughly happy and tired. With a visit to the bathroom because honey there is a lot of lube up there. I was successfully satisfied with the results. No mishaps, leaks, or any opsies.

*I strongly recommend a calm night after such an exciting day, your body will thank you*

Matt Nolan's artical on Anal Sex Preparation in my opinion was well detailed without being bogged down with useless information. Easy to follow and seems to demystify the magic that is a porn star quality clean asshole.

Written by: Lani Bleu